Gerald

I wanted to write about my friend Gerald Nazer. He’s a cool guy (if I do say so myself). He doesn’t read my Bible—I mean, blog. He also can’t eat pasta because it makes him sick.

One time, he ate two noodles. They had to pump his stomach.

Anyway, I wanted to tell about the time that Gerald and I successfully made cockroach nachoes.

Finding the right ingredients can be difficult, but if you know where to look, it’s easy. I always look under the sink in our bathroom. Just poke around in the junk down there and four or five skitter out.

Take a net and smash it down on them and grab up the little snacks—I mean, critters.

Once you have a handful of these things (normally Gerald gets the most of them for me), you need to prepare the oil. Just some canola oil on high heat.

Once the oil is hot enough, empty the roaches into it. Sometimes they’ll jump out, so you gotta be quicker and make sure they can’t (just grab them and toss them back in).

They’ll start to sizzle really quickly. Sometimes the legs and antennae will come off, but don’t worry, you can get them out of the oil with a fork.

Gerald likes to season his with caso. I normally eat mine with guacamole.

Gerald is such a great friend! How many people can make roach nachos??